UNhappy Diwali: Air Pollution, Bhopal and Delhi

 

UNhappy Diwali: 

Air Pollution, Bhopal and Delhi

Dear Prime Minister, Family, Friends, and Well-wishers,

I hope you celebrated a joyous Diwali yesterday.

I thank you for your Happy Diwali messages. I wanted to thank you individually and reciprocate, but I won’t.

Dear PM, I don’t have your WhatsApp number, and the email address from which your greetings were sent won’t accept any reply.

Dear Others, I won’t because the day began badly, and there’s no sign it’d get any better today or tomorrow.

I slept poorly last night since the Diwali revellers continued the unsettling din till after midnight. The early-rising kids discovered the unexploded crackers and successfully detonated the bombs, startling me awake and frightening the poor birds.

When I opened my laptop, I got an alert—a Health Advisory: AQI near you is HAZARDOUS. Stay indoors. Avoid any strenuous physical activity. Switch on the Air-Purifier after wearing the N95 mask.

As though it wasn’t scary enough, it announced, “Currently (Nov 9, 2026 at 07:29 hrs), Bhopal ranks 6th among the most polluted cities globally.” (www.aqi.in)

“Breathing the air in this area (Saket Nagar, Bhopal) is as harmful as smoking 11.6 cigarettes a day (81.2 cigarettes a week, and 348 a month),” it continued its diabolical and depressing monologue.

Strangely, I was instantly cheered up, because only a day before, the CJI had opened a hearing with the ironic hope that those appearing before his bench were enjoying Delhi's weather. The amicus curiae then pointed out that breathing Delhi's air was equivalent to smoking 30 cigarettes a day!

How wonderful. I’m smoking less than the President, the PM, the CJI, and other VVIPs. How very blessed to live in Bhopal, the 6th most polluted city in the world, rather than in Delhi, the 2nd most polluted.

A few countries issue travel advisories to their citizens, counselling them about the health hazards of a trip to India, and particularly Delhi, in winter. Bryan Johnson, who perhaps wishes to live forever, took no chances. He arrived at a Mumbai press office carrying a large, portable air-purifier for his interview!

Perhaps governments, airlines, and railways should consider issuing similar health advisories to domestic travellers.

Airport billboards could display in red:

You are entering, at your own risk, a Gas Chamber. Governments, local bodies and agencies will NOT be liable for damages, if any, to your lungs. No claim would be payable by insurance companies.

Ayodhya perhaps lit up over 30 lakh diyas to create yet another Guinness World Record. Surely, the devotees must have used entirely non-polluting oil in the earthen lamps for the sacred and solemn spectacle.