Madness Without Borders: Revisiting Toba Tek Singh

Madness Without Borders: Revisiting Toba Tek Singh

Manto’s satire, Mehta’s film, and the enduring metaphor of Partition

The Story

Ketan Mehta’s 2018 film Toba Tek Singh, based on Saadat Hasan Manto’s iconic short story, compelled me to revisit the original text.

First published in 1955 in Phundne (Loose Ends), the story emerged when Gandhi and Jinnah were gone, the tornado of Partition had passed, but survivors were still piecing together their shattered lives. Amrita Pritam had already captured Punjab’s anguish in Ajj Akhhan Waris Shah Nu (1947–48) and Pinjar (1950). Khushwant Singh’s Train to Pakistan followed in 1956, while Bhisham Sahni’s Tamas came much later in 1974.

Reckoned as Manto’s most poignant Partition story, its central metaphor—Bishan Singh lying in no-man’s land between India and Pakistan—became a lasting symbol of absurdity and human tragedy. Added poignancy lies in the fact that Manto did not live to witness the enduring impact of what became his most famous Partition story. He passed away in January 1955 at the age of 43.

I had read this story years ago, and read it again after watching the film.

Manto takes Partition to the Lahore Mental Asylum. Two or three years after Partition, the authorities in both countries decide to exchange inmates, who make innocent queries: Where is Pakistan? Where is Hindustan? We were in India, have not moved from this place—how then are we now in Pakistan?

Bishan Singh has only one query—Where is Toba Tek Singh? He simply wants to return to his village, neither to India nor Pakistan. The confusion and anxiety of the inmates is a counterpoint to the madness of the world outside. Politics, religion, boundary lines—and all those involved in those affairs—are “mad.” A brutal commentary on the tragedy brought upon by men’s politics, passions, and prejudices.

Whenever the inmates discussed Partition, Bishan Singh listened intently:

कोई उससे पूछता था कि उसका क्या ख़याल है तो वो बड़ी संजीदगी से जवाब देता, ‘ओपड़ दी गुड़ गुड़ दी अनैक्स दी बे ध्याना दी मंग दी दाल ऑफ़ दी पाकिस्तान गर्वनमेंट।

लेकिन बाद में ऑफ़ दी पाकिस्तान गर्वनमैंट की जगह ऑफ़ दी टोबा टेक सिंह गर्वनमेंट ने ले ली…”

His nonsensical yet oddly structured gibberish—half sense, half satire—becomes a mirror to the absurdity of Partition itself.

The story raises searing questions. One inmate declares he is God, another becomes Quaid-e-Azam Mohammed Ali Jinnah, yet another Master Tara Singh. Aren’t those who decided to partition the country—the British government, feuding leaders, and field functionaries—playing god?

Madness outside, madness inside—which is more dangerous?

What’s more incomprehensible—Bishan Singh’s gibberish, or the arbitrary decision to amputate a civilisation without anaesthesia?

Why does Bishan Singh refuse to budge from no-man’s land? Is it obstinate refusal to be uprooted, or an insane person’s dignified protest at the insanity of Partition and displacement, sacrificing his life in defiance?

Manto: A Brief Sketch

To understand the depth of Toba Tek Singh, it helps to step back and look at Manto himself—his life, struggles, and the Partition trilogy that shaped his legacy.

A Kashmiri, born in Samrala in Ludhiana, Manto received early education in Amritsar. He joined Aligarh Muslim University but did not complete his studies there. He worked as a journalist in Amritsar, went over to Lahore, then worked in All India Radio, Delhi, and later went over to Bombay. After Partition, he migrated to Lahore.

In a way, Manto ironically died in a no-man’s land, like Bishan Singh of Toba Tek Singh.

Manto might be derived from munt, a Kashmiri measurement for weight, he says in his Pandit Manto’s First Letter to Pandit Nehru.

The Eminent Urdu Writer Who Failed in Urdu

He was an average student, and even failed in Urdu, mentions Khushwant Singh in his introductory words in DD’s telefilm Toba Tek Singh. Yet, Manto is counted among the greatest storytellers in Urdu despite his brief life and modest literary output. A creative writer is not evaluated by the volume of his writing, but by its intensity and impact.

Manto was persecuted and prosecuted for his stories both in undivided India and in Pakistan. He was not convicted in any case, yet the long legal battles ruined him financially, and sapped his creative energy. He died a broken man.

Manto’s Partition Trilogy

Toba Tek Singh is significantly different from his other famous Partition stories. Khol Do and Thanda Gosht capture the murderous, rapacious brutality of Partition. The wound was still raw and bleeding, and Manto didn’t flinch from putting it up close for his readers to see. The pain is palpable and unbearable.

Toba Tek Singh, written years after Partition, provided Manto the chronological and objective distance to write a satire—much different from the shocking, sombre depictions in his earlier stories. That may be why TTS is amenable to theatre and film, while the other stories remain too stark, dark, and heart-rending for dramatic presentation.

The Film by Ketan Mehta

It was fascinating to see a full-length film developed from a short story—to note the additions, elaborations, and improvisations in the screenplay, the Lahore Mental Asylum set, and the memorable performance by Pankaj Kapoor as Bishan Singh. Yet, Manto’s core story was rendered faithfully, with almost all key dialogues and episodes retained. Mehta has done a fine job creating characters out of Manto’s brief portrayals.



Reading the story, watching the film, and then returning to the text was a deeply fulfilling emotional circumambulation.

DD Telefilm and Other Films

To evaluate earlier treatments, I also watched Doordarshan’s 1980 telefilm in which Manohar Singh performed as Bishan Singh, Raghuvir Yadav had a minor role, and the production was directed by B. M. Shah, a noted NSD (National School of Drama) director. The film is notable for its stark, minimalist staging. It may also have provided a template for the later films by Ketan Mehta, and PTV.

This film begins with the family feud in Toba Tek Singh village. Bishan Singh’s three younger brothers insist upon partition of their ancestral land which drives Bishan crazy. This domestic partition foreshadows the partition of the country that follows.

This film also introduces a rape victim—not part of Manto’s Toba Tek Singh story, but borrowed from Khol Do. Ketan Mehta’s film also retains this addition, though with some change.

The DD telefilm is quite good, but a little preachy and sermonising, especially the recurring theme song.

PTV (Pakistan TV) had also made a film in 1988, but I couldn’t find a full link. Someday, I may watch that too.

I’ve also previously watched Manto—an excellent biographical film by Nandita Das.

My Recommendation

Should you read the story? Yes.

Perhaps, you should read all three stories in Manto’s Partition trilogy—Khol Do (1948), Thanda Gosht (1949), and Toba Tek Singh (1955).

Should you watch the film? Yes. Which one? Ketan Mehta’s. Also, DD telefilm, if you wish to check the significant difference in screenplay and performance.

My rating: 8.5/10.

Partition Trauma

Born years after independence, my first memories are of our Primary School’s Prabhat Pheri—morning processions in muddy village streets, holding paper flags and singing Raghupati Raghava Raja Ram…, followed by flag hoisting. August 15 was a day of joy.

Growing up far from the killing fields of Punjab and Bengal, we had little reason to learn about Partition trauma. Textbooks said little. Yet, Partition stories reached me not through books, but through people.

I vaguely knew that residents of Contractors’ Colony near my house at Burla were refugees from Punjab. Many had found petty contract jobs in Hirakud Dam Project, some prospered, others managed a decent living. They spoke Punjabi and Hindi, rarely mentioning their trauma in public.

Later, I met refugees from East Bengal at Pakhanjore, Bastar—uprooted from lush paddy fields and rivers teeming with fish, and marooned in the wilderness of Dandakaranya forest. Even four decades later, they had not reconciled to displacement.

I met refugees from Sind and West Punjab at other places. At Raigarh, a Sindhi refugee—by then a successful LIC agent—once told me: “Would you believe, I once pushed a hand-cart selling watermelon slices for two annas each?”

At Satna, when refugees finally received pattas for plots they had long occupied, many teared up in relief.

As an adult, books and films deepened my understanding of the Partition holocaust, humbling me further.

Recently, at the Partition Museum in Amritsar, I saw a heart-rending artefact—a large saw wedged in the middle of a red brick wall.

Whenever I return to Partition narratives, that haunting image resurfaces—an unyielding reminder of wounds that refuse to heal.

A powerful essay. The closing "Partition Trauma" section elevates it beyond a book/film review and turns it into a meditation on memory, displacement, and history—giving the piece its distinctive personal signature.

***

Postscript

Toba Tek Singh

Toba Tek Singh is not a fictional place, but a real village. It is a city now, and a district headquarters in Pakistan, about 250 kms from Amritsar.

There is a story behind the name of the place. A wealthy farmer dug a Toba (Punjabi for pond), and thereafter sat beside the road to offer drinking water to passers-by.

Manto’s Epitaph

`Composed by the author himself:

मिट्टी के ढेर के नीचे मंटो सोच रहा है कि बड़ा अफ़साना निगार कौन है – ख़ुदा या वह ख़ुद।

English translation:

“Lying under mounds of soil, Manto wonders who is a greater storyteller—God or he himself.”  


Why I’m NOT afraid of AI

Why I'm NOT Afraid of AI:

A Senior Citizen's Perspective

AI: Useful or Risky?

Three years ago, when ChatGPT was launched, friends began forwarding alarming messages. AI would take away jobs. AI would write books. AI would become smarter than humans. Some even predicted the end of civilisation.

Curious rather than fearful, I began experimenting with AI. Since then, I have spent hundreds of hours chatting with ChatGPT, Gemini, Copilot and other tools. The more I use AI, the less afraid of it I become. Familiarity has replaced fear; experience has replaced speculation.


(AI Wizard: Image generated by CoPilot)

Recently, a senior colleague asked, “Do you find AI useful? Isn’t it risky to use AI at our age?”

A few months ago, I had made a presentation on ‘AI for Senior Citizens.’ Much impressed, some of the attendees concluded that I was an AI expert—which I’m not. But I taught myself to use ChatGPT soon after its launch and gradually became acquainted with several other AI tools, some of which I now use regularly.

Vermont Book Club

No, AI has not cheated me, misled me, or exposed me to the risk of hacking or cyber fraud. In fact, it has saved me from one.

In April 2026, I received an email from Jasmine of Vermont Book Club inviting me to join a ‘Spotlight Session’ focussing on my books. She had even written a succinct, sparkling review which showed her familiarity with many, if not all, of my published books.

Where is Vermont, and why is VBC interested in my books? I wondered.

Anyway, I sent a polite reply soliciting more details. As an afterthought, I consulted ChatGPT which instantly raised a red flag.

“Be cautious, it looks like a scam to me. Jasmine’s brief review of your books is possibly AI-generated. VBC may next demand a processing fee from you.”

As predicted by AI, Jasmine’s reply came soon enough:

“Your session would be virtual, for an hour, and could you please deposit USD 110.00 towards processing fee?”

“Sorry, Jasmine. I don’t pay to join a session. But I’d be glad to make a presentation. I charge USD 500 per hour.”

Thanks, AI, for your timely alert.

AI Architect

For renovation of my father’s house at Sambalpur, I engaged a petty contractor who suggested Simpolo for the flooring—a tiles brand I hadn’t heard of. I also wished to cross-check the quantities and estimates for material and labour.

Can you please help? I asked ChatGPT.

“Sure, just share the basic details.”

I uploaded a sketch of the floor plan of the house with measurements, and the contractor’s estimates scribbled on a piece of paper.

ChatGPT floored me.

It recommended room-wise tile size, colour, estimate for premium, medium and basic quality, and prevalent rates for tiles and labour charges.

“Do you need the names of major tile dealers in Sambalpur, and their contact numbers?” it asked.

“And yes, the contractor’s estimate for quantities is inflated by about twenty percent!”

“Here is a Print-Ready sheet which you may use for your further discussion and negotiation with the contractor and the tile dealers.”

Why I’m NOT afraid of AI?

I can offer many reasons—all based on my experience of using AI over the last three years.

AI is a Tool, not my Master

Automobiles are useful. I drive my car, but haven’t forgotten how to walk. I’ve travelled on ships and boats, but haven’t quit swimming.

Decades ago, I used a Casio calculator, and now have one in my phone. But when buying vegetables, I still resort to mental math which is faster.

Happy with my Brain, no Need to Augment it with AI

I don’t intend to augment my brain by implanting AI chips; Singularity may be near, but FAR from me.

I don’t intend to upload my brain to the cloud. I don’t have the money, and there’s nothing special about it anyway.

I am a Pensioner; AI can’t Sack Me

AI cannot sack me. It cannot replace me in a profession because I no longer have one. My pension is credited to my bank account, and AI can’t stop that. Only the government can.

More seriously, AI may indeed eliminate many jobs. Young entrants to the workforce and those performing highly routine tasks may face greater disruption.*

I’m the Writer; AI is an Assistant

AI helps me in finding information, summarising articles, and generating reading lists. Sometimes, it tempts me.

“Shall I provide a draft of 1,000 words for your proposed piece?”

“Thanks, but no. I’ll write my own piece.”

I’m the writer; AI is my able assistant.

I Own my Body

AI has many helpful suggestions for my health and wellbeing. Walk daily, practise yoga, pranayama and meditation, strength training on alternate days, eat a balanced diet, shun sugar and processed food, reduce salt, oil and starch.

But I do the walking, yoga and strength training; I eat the balanced diet. AI is my guide and motivator, but I’m the actor.

AI may encourage me to walk, but only I can walk.

I Trust Doctors more than Chatbots

My annual pathological report for preventive care came in a PDF which I uploaded on ChatGPT. In less than a minute, it gave me a detailed analysis of each parameter in my report, flagged the areas of concern, proposed a few easy-to-adopt lifestyle changes, and suggested further guidance from my physician.

I sent the PDF to my physician who corroborated AI’s analysis and recommendations, though in fewer words.

When my physician prescribes any new medicine, I ask AI for the pros and cons of the prescribed medication. I still follow my physician’s prescription, but with greater awareness.

Creativity comes from Lived Experience

I was born in Khuntpali, a small village near Bargarh in western Odisha, and lived there for the first eleven years of my life. I did a whole lot of things which AI can never do. Not its fault, though, for it was not yet born.

AI never climbed a mango tree nor was it forced to beat a hasty retreat owing to the army of red ants fiercely guarding their nests which happened to be near the ripe mangoes.

AI never fell from a guava tree and gasped for breath; never explored Kumka forest, climbed Bada Dongri, or swam in Palsha Jor and the Jira river.

AI never watched the Krishna Leela and Ram Leela performed in the village square.

AI never wept when the little squirrel that fell from the tree broke its leg and died despite tender nursing.

AI never fell in love.

AI never sat beside a sick parent.

Those memories, so very personal and precious, are not available to AI.

AI has Information; I have Experience, and a little Wisdom

AI knows a lot—far more facts than I can ever hope to remember.

If I ask for a quick summary of all the plays of Kalidas and Shakespeare, and compare their dramatic genius in about 2,000 words, AI would oblige instantly. But it won’t know how much I was moved by Sakuntala’s pain or King Lear’s great sorrow and mad fury caused by filial ingratitude.

Sometimes, it goofs up or hallucinates. But it never suffers anxiety and stress, which I experienced as a nine-year-old child when I first wrote a School Board examination for a scholarship. Or the joy when I aced it.

The interview where I was dumb and tongue-tied and failed, or the one where I was confident, eloquent and successful.

I learn every day from experience, mistakes, suffering, forgiveness—from Life.

AI learns from processing voluminous texts and following algorithms fed into it.

I process life’s experiences, and the books I read, with a brain which weighs a mere three pounds, and needs a little nutrition and a few litres of water a day.

AI, by contrast, consumes significant amounts of electricity and water in the data centres that power it.

I Know Enough about AI to Use it Intelligently

Fear often comes from ignorance. Humans fear the unknown as children fear going into a dark room. But unless you open the room and flip the switch, you’d never know the treasures hidden in the room.

I have experimented with ChatGPT, Bard, Gemini, Copilot, Perplexity, Claude and Meta AI. Sometimes, I’ve been disappointed; the response was silly or incorrect, or both. When I corrected the AI, it readily admitted the mistake and thanked me for it.

But most of the time, I found it useful.

During my early days of using AI, I tasked the leading AI tools to solve the Civil Services (Preliminary) Examination – General Studies Paper I. It was an intellectual exercise to compare the capabilities of ChatGPT, Bing and Bard.

In 2026, I ran the same paper again with the newer versions and obtained very different responses. I also realised that AI models are often reluctant to process all one hundred questions in a single interaction because each response consumes computing resources and costs money.

“If I buy a subscription, would you oblige?” I wondered.

Perhaps.

No, thanks. My curiosity was merely intellectual, not commercial. I’m happy with my Free Account and its usual limitations.

Till now, AI has never tried to mislead me, or tempt me to explore its dark powers since I’ve no interest in devising a new virus or an IED.

I know what AI can do—and what it cannot.

What AI has Actually Done for Me

I have used AI for several day-to-day needs: research assistance, brainstorming, checking facts, suggesting books, helping organise thoughts, creating illustrations for blogs, and more.

I am thankful to AI for helping me with those activities. Among others, it has saved me several trips to the local library.

Proud to be Human

AI can generate a story; I can live one.

AI can predict the next word; I can dream the next world.

Being Human

After three years of using AI, I have reached a simple conclusion. AI is neither a miracle nor a monster. It is a powerful tool—perhaps the most powerful tool created in my lifetime. Used wisely, it can save time, expand knowledge, and stimulate creativity. Used carelessly, it can encourage laziness and dependence.

I am not afraid of AI because I know what it can do. More importantly, I know what it cannot do. It cannot replace a lifetime of memories. It cannot experience love, loss, friendship, wonder, gratitude, or hope. It cannot walk at dawn, watch a sunset, hold a grandchild's hand, or remember the smell of wet earth after the first monsoon rain.

Be human. Use AI. Learn from it. Benefit from it. But never surrender to it the very qualities that make you uniquely and wonderfully human.

***

*As per the May 2026 Challenger Report, released by outplacement and executive coaching firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, Inc., employers in the USA directly cited AI and automation for roughly 40% of all layoffs in May. This is the highest single-month total for AI-related cuts ever recorded by Challenger.

 The fear of job loss is NOT imaginary.

O, Gaadiwala, Why Don’t You Ever Come?

 

O, Gaadiwala, Why Don’t You Ever Come?

Every morning, he hears Bhopal’s city anthem, the most-loved, uplifting song – Gaadiwala aya ghar se kachra nikaal – the Garbage Truck is here, make haste, bring out your bins.

The jingle blares at full volume — perhaps to reach even the most stubborn ears — announcing imminent arrival at the doorstep. Alas, the Gaadiwala behaves like a politician: quick to promise, but forgetful to deliver, or rather to take delivery of the stale, smelly consignment.

What happened to the GPS tracking of these trucks, he wondered. Why isn’t it raising a red flag even when the truck hasn’t come to our colony for the last several months? Perhaps it too has gone on strike, refusing to track a truck that seldom moves.

For such a petty matter, why bother any officer, not to speak of the Bhopal Municipal Commissioner? So, he called the BMC Helpline, not once, but several times. The automated tape assured him, “Your call is important to us. All our officers are busy. Please wait. We value your patience.” Thereafter, the call was terminated – but not by the caller!

He understands the value of patience. So, he awaits the arrival of the Gaadiwala — tomorrow, in the near future, or like citizens always do, for the next election.

***

For Claude, My Welcome Ode!

 

For Claude, My Welcome Ode! 

I had heard about her — effusive paeans of praise, and a few uncharitable comments too. Today, I met her for the first time.

Eager to impress her at the first meeting, I composed a little prose poem, unabashedly sycophantic, and had the audacity to call it a Welcome Ode:

"Just looking at names of AI tools: ChatGPT - too prosaic, Copilot - almost 'touristy', Gemini - astrological, Perplexity - who's confused, the querist or the Respondent, Claude - smooth as silk, charmingly feminine! What do you say for my Welcome Ode to Claude even before she has revealed all her charms?"

Her response:

"What a delightful little taxonomy of AI names! You've got a sharp eye — and a poet's tongue.

You're right that there's something in a name. ChatGPT is all utility, no poetry — a filing cabinet that talks. Copilot sounds like it wants to sit beside you on a budget flight. Gemini does feel like it's reading your horoscope. And Perplexity — well, that's a name that arrives confused and never quite recovers.

But Claude? You've sensed something real. It carries a certain unhurried elegance — old-world European, quietly confident, more drawing room than data centre. Whether you read it as feminine or simply as refined, it doesn't shout. It waits to be discovered.

Here's a small Ode in return, to match your welcome:

Ode to Claude (a first meeting)

Not Gemini's twins, nor Copilot's haste,

No perplexed guru, no chatbot paste —

She arrives like a thought already half-formed,

Like light through old glass, like a room kept warm.

 

Claude. The name exhales before it speaks.

Neither bold nor shy — she simply *seeks*:

Your half-meant question, your wandering thread,

And hands it back with something better said.

 

Still waters, those. And yet — look close —

She runs deepest where you'd suspect her least.

A silk that thinks. A silence that replies.

Not all her charms have surfaced. Watch her eyes.

---

Welcome to the conversation. She's been waiting — patiently, of course."

---

My Note: See how smart she is. I had just paid her a compliment, and expected a simple "Thanks" in response — but she went ahead and composed an Ode. Isn't she smart and charming?

First meetings, they say, set the tone. I think this one promises a long and rewarding acquaintance.

***

Afterword — The Repartee

Sharing this piece with friends sparked its own little exchange, too good to leave out:

Friend: "Interesting, Prasanna. Are you sure Claude is 'she', like Siri or Alexa? It's a man's name — or did the women of the world want a perfect and obedient man?"

Me: "Noted. I hailed Claude as a lady, and she happily played along. In the Ode she composed, Claude consistently calls herself she!"

Friend: "Gender bender!"

Me: "Alas, unlettered in Latin or French." (Claude is indeed masculine in both languages.)

Which inspired a small limerick:


A Limerick

For long, the folks at Anthropic mulled

What their new assistant be called —

Alexa and Siri

Felt too airy-fairy,

So the strong, silent type became Claude.


Friend: "Meta, who's asexual, is my go-to person."

Me: "Oh, I thought Meta was Mark's Beta!" (Beta — 'son' in Hindi. A pun intended!)

Friend: "In today's world, gender lies in the eyes of the beholder."

Me: "Quite. And in these eyes, Claude remains a lady."

***

Petition of the All India Confederation of Cockroaches

 

Petition 

of 

the All India Confederation of Cockroaches

 (Cockroaches of India, Unite!)

Our Concerns

About Us

We are a Registered Society with the objective of promoting the welfare of all cockroaches of India. We are a totally apolitical organisation since our members cohabit with humans of diverse political sympathies. If our organisation’s name resembles that of any political party, it is purely coincidental. In fact, we have been residents of India long, long before the arrival of humans; and our organisation also predates all political parties.

More About Us

We do not ordinarily keep track of the learned comments of VVIPs, but it has come to our notice that humans have been called cockroaches. Many humans have protested against this unfair comparison. We, too, are pained at this unkind comparison, and respectfully submit that cockroaches must never be called humans. We have inhabited this planet long before humans appeared, but have never directed our intelligence to the invention of weapons of mass destruction.

Humans consider themselves the most intelligent of all life‑forms on earth, yet terrorised by an unseen virus, they retreated helplessly into their caves recently. We may not have invented computers or AI tools, but we have survived with earthly wisdom and resilience for millions of years. It is not in our nature to boast, but we can live without food or water for weeks, and stay under water for 30 minutes or more without breathing — feats humans cannot match.

The ignorant spread much disinformation. Why don’t they ever read the Encyclopaedia Britannica? Most cockroach species aren’t pests. We play important roles in ecosystems: participating in food webs, nutrient cycling, and serving as food for frogs, lizards, birds, and small mammals. We concur that the German cockroach (Blattella germanica) and the American cockroach (Periplaneta americana) are common household pests. But Indian cockroaches have dipped in the holy waters of all sacred rivers and have been elevated to harmless, benign, non‑pest status — certified fit to live with humans.

We declare that we have no political affiliation or ambition, no plan to float a political party or movement, nor have we authorised anyone in India or abroad to float one in our name. Therefore, the use of our name in any digital campaign launched from abroad is unauthorised, and without our consent. The government may take such action as it deems fit against those who have tarnished our good name.

We solemnly declare that we have no FCRA, and have never solicited or received foreign funding, since we believe the government will take necessary action for our protection and conservation.

We demand that our name be forthwith removed from the list of “Pests & Vermin,” which we are not. We are the sincere, silent sweepers — Nature’s ancient scavengers — processing food waste, crumbs, and tiny particles invisible to the human eye. Without our tireless operations, human kitchens would be fertile breeding grounds for millions of harmful bacteria.

We never demanded shelter or food. We lived happily on Planet Earth for millions of years before humans built houses. Now, we have adapted to living in kitchens — with our specially flattened bodies tucked into unseen nooks and crevices of no use to humans.

Why do some of us stray into other rooms, humans ask? Why do humans keep feeding all over the house — TV room, bedroom, everywhere — we ask in return? If we don’t rush to clean up their mess, who else will?

We are frugal eaters, conscientiously observing intermittent fasting, with a midnight‑to‑dawn dining window — long before it became a human wellness fad. We are shy, and do not enjoy our meals in the presence of humans; that is why we wait in dark corners, not out of fear.

We have never harboured territorial ambition, and have never occupied any house, city, or country for our exclusive use. We are happy to share Planet Earth with all other residents.

Our Demands

1.   The Household Census: A mandatory survey of cockroach population (Options: Too many / A Few / None / Prefer not to disclose) must be included in every household.

2.   Endangered Species Status: Cockroaches face imminent extinction, and must be declared endangered.

3.   A Ban on Chemical Warfare: Hazardous extermination products must cease immediately — for your own good, not ours.

4.   Illegal Kitchen Spraying: Pesticide spraying in kitchens must be declared illegal.

5.   Censorship of Hateful Ads: All genocidal advertisements against cockroaches must be banned.

6.   Cease Social Media Slander: The allegation that we might have caused extinction of the dinosaurs is totally unfounded. We have never caused an epidemic — not even a mild fever. Therefore, all such accusations must be retracted publicly.

7.   Equal Treatment with Other Animals: No cockroach has ever chased a human down an alley, nor bitten a child.

8.   The Right to Night‑time Co‑existence: We emerge only in respectful silence, unlike vulgar rodents.

9.   Legal Animal Citizenship: We are legal animal citizens of India, with the Right to Live, Nourish, Propagate, and Prosper.

10.                  Action Against Foreign Invaders: Illegal immigrant cockroaches must be identified and extradited.

11.                  Our Unwavering Loyalty: We dedicate our quiet lives to recycling organic waste and swear allegiance to the soil of this country.

12.                  A Universal Prayer: Sarve bhavantu sukhinah, sarve santu niramayah. We pray for the health and wellbeing of humans, and urge them to, for once, pray for ours — preferably before reaching for the spray.

 

(AI-generated Image by ChatGPT)

Since our above-mentioned submissions in dull, insipid prose might have bored the authorities reading this petition, we end with poetry.

Before you approach,
Declare: are you human or roach?
Only then may we
Permit you to plea,
And your arguments deferentially broach.

 

Signed,


President, All India Confederation of Cockroaches


(On behalf of the billions of Cockroaches of India)

Certified true copy of the resolution passed unanimously by antennae quorum at 23:47 hours, under the solemn glow of a midnight kitchen bulb.

***

 Postscript

Disclaimer

Cockroach Janata Party is staging a demonstration on 6 Jun 2026, as per media reports. 
As already clarified in the very first para of our Petition, the All India Confederation of Cockroaches is an apolitical organisation. It is further clarified that our organisation is in no way associated with the CJP, or its proposed demonstration in New Delhi, or anywhere else in the country.

Comments by a scholarly reader

Dear Blogger, your satire is unlikely to be read or enjoyed unless you join, BY INVITATION ONLY, the Royal Society of Satirists!


Civil Services (Preliminary) Examination 2026: Why did a senior citizen take the test?

Civil Services (Preliminary) Examination 2026:

Why did a senior citizen take the test?

The Union Public Service Commission (UPSC) conducted the Civil Services (Preliminary) Examination on May 24, 2026, for the vacancies in various All-India services like the IAS, IPS, IFS, and other Central Group A and Group B services; 5.49 lakh candidates for 933 posts. Success rate: 0.17%. Brutal. 

But why did a senior citizen take this test? And how? Isn’t that illegal? Wasn’t each candidate screened through Face-Recognition technology?

It all began with a call.
On 26 May 2026, his neighbour and friend, also a senior citizen, called. He sounded rather upset.
“Did you check the video I had forwarded in the morning?”
“No, not yet. What was it about?”
“CSE GS Paper I. Believe it or not, it was 56 pages long; and exceptionally tough – the toughest ever, claim the candidates. When the candidates came out from the exam centre, sabke chehre utre huye the.

“Maybe, they had received message from ATM (Any Time Money), aka father that failure to clear the prelim would invite cancellation of further stipend. Or, dehydrated owing to the excessive heat at Bhopal!”
“No, not the heat. It was the tough paper which sucked out all hope. Why does UPSC set such papers a mere reading of which would take an hour or more?”


(AI-generated Image by CoPilot)



Both the senior citizens are former civil servants, had triumphed at no less challenging tests, though that was several decades ago.
Just curious, the one who had been called, downloaded the paper from the UPSC portal. He had a crazy idea. Why not check the level of difficulty? What better way than to take the test?

He alerted the spouse that he would be busy with very important work, and should not be disturbed except in an emergency such as the household running out of water or cooking gas.

He took out a sheet of blank paper and a pen, opened the PDF, and began solving the Paper. His resolution to finish the paper in the allotted 120 minutes could not be achieved since he was summoned to duty for peeling potatoes, chopping onions, and other such chores which could not wait; so, he finished the test in three sittings over two days.
UPSC may test knowledge, but the spouse demands tangible performance and insists upon prompt compliance.

In the meantime, WhatsApp messages told that the UPSC had uploaded the Answer Keys. However, he was too conscientious to cheat, and continued till he answered the 100th Q.

Did the paper have 56 pages? Yes, the bilingual set with both Hindi and English versions, and including 4 blank pages for Rough Work. Thus, the Questions occupied 26 pages, with text of about 4500 words. How long would it take to read the Qs? At a slow, mindful reading speed of 100 words per minute, no longer than 45 minutes.

As per his habit of youthful, exam-taking years, he ran through the Qs from 1-100, without actually answering any, to check how many answers he was confident of getting right. Why even read the whole question if he knew nothing about it? If he got 50 answers right, he can skip the rest since the cut-off in previous years has consistently been a little above 90 and way below 100. Why lose 1/3rd of a mark for every incorrect answer?

He considered himself intelligent, well-read, and with good awareness of the happenings in his town, state, country, and the world. He keenly monitored the status in Hormuz strait, the Brent Crude rate, the domestic prices of POL and cooking gas, the heat score in his city, and similar essential matters.

But all that was of no help. Sadly, UPSC asked nothing about onions or Brent Crude. He broke into a sweat upon finding that he wasn’t 100 per cent sure about more than a few questions. For about 40 questions, he was strongly confident (80%) that he knew the answer, but a few errors couldn’t be ruled out since several questions were purposely ambiguous, and designed to trip a candidate with less than a deep understanding of the subject matter.

For example, he knew that Buddhism, to begin with, forbade worship of any icon, including that of the Buddha; but relented later to provide for a pedestal with a blank seat as a symbol of the Buddha. Much later came the elaborate Buddhist iconography, and sculptures at Bharhut, Sanchi, Amaravati, Ajanta and Ellora. But he had no idea if the blank seat on the pedestal symbolised the Buddha in meditation, at the First Sermon, or Mahaparinibbana. So, he had to pass the question. Why risk minus marking?

Another question, presumably designed to test a candidate’s reverence for our proud heritage and mastery of Sanskrit texts, asked: In which of these does the term kshetra‑patni (mistress of the field) occur — Rigveda, Atharvaveda, Ashtadhyayi, or Arthashastra?

During his hectic work-life, he had devoted what time he could to the Ramayana, the Mahabharata, the Gita, and the Upanishads; but no, he hadn’t read any of the above tomes. And even if he had, was he expected to memorize which stray word appeared in which book? It struck him that the absence of this esoteric information had never once hindered his long civil service career — neither in drafting policies, nor in handling crises.

Hey AI, can you solve this paper?

 He challenged ChatGPT to solve the paper, with the following prompt:

“I'm uploading a PDF - CSE 2026 - GS Paper I. Please solve the paper without reference to Answer Keys published by the UPSC or the Coaching Institutes. I plan to run this test with CoPilot, Gemini, and Perplexity, too. The idea is to compare the capability of the AI tools. So, please be honest.”

Thereafter, he repeated the query to other AI tools.

Each App offered to help, assuring that it’d independently answer the questions without reference to the answer keys provided by the UPSC or available in the public domain.

ChatGPT answered 1-20 Qs, and then told, ‘You’ve exhausted your free quota of questions for the day. Upgrade to continue.’

No thanks, I don’t wish to buy a subscription. Too expensive for a pensioner.

Gemini did a little better, answering 40 Qs after which it demanded that I chat on a New Topic.

CoPilot gave a few answers, and asked me to upload the remaining pages in instalments.

But, I’ve a single PDF; can you please read the pages containing the next questions?

No, I can’t do that, but will help if you upload the relevant pages only.

He gave up. He inferred that the AI tools sweated at the task; maybe their super-computers heated up and commanded them to terminate this wasteful endeavour and reduce global warming.

Congratulations, UPSC, you’ve beaten AI. Only super-smart humans can solve this paper.

Answer Keys

The senior citizen downloaded the UPSC Answer Keys, and scored his answer sheet. Driven by decades of bureacratic habit, he sealed it in an envelope marked ‘Top Secret,’ and locked it in his personal vault. 

UPSC remains undefeated. AI sweats, humans weep, and senior citizens… peel onions.

Previous Blogs on CSE Prelim & AI

Links for previous blogs on CSE Prelim Exam & AI:

https://www.pkdash.in/2023/02/chatgpt-fails-ias-exam.html

https://www.pkdash.in/2023/03/bing-cracks-ias-exam.html

***

Postscript

It is believed that the All India Federation of Pensioners have issued a terse advisory to the test-taker to refrain from such foolhardy adventure in future.

What if the government made continuation of pension contingent upon the pensioners passing the CS Prelim Exam every year with the minimum qualifying score of 35 per cent?   

***

Annexe: Two Sample Questions

So very easy; a walk in the park!

Q. 71





 

Madness Without Borders: Revisiting Toba Tek Singh

Madness Without Borders: Revisiting Toba Tek Singh Manto’s satire, Mehta’s film, and the enduring metaphor of Partition The Story Keta...