Ratapani REJECTS
Bhopal Development Plan:
Citizens of the Jungle Lodge Protest
Sher Singh, the King of Ratapani Tiger Reserve, convened an
emergency General Body (GB) meeting of his citizens and addressed them with an introductory
growl and a non-threatening roar.
“Dear Citizens of our Great Jungle. Today, we have assembled to
deliberate upon a most serious matter: the Bhopal Development Plan 2047,
recently notified by humans. Minister for External Affairs will now brief you
on the BDP.”
The Golden Jackal—smart, clever, well-informed and alert—rose,
bowed to the King, and said,
“BDP is a very long document, monotonous to read and difficult to
comprehend, with numerous Tables, Maps, Boxes, and more than a hundred
acronyms. But we don’t have all night to go through all the details. So, I’ll
present a brief summary.
The BDP is just like all previous plans by humans for themselves. It
protects and furthers the interests of all stickholders.”
The Hyena interrupted. “You mean stakeholders?”
“No, stickholders; I choose my words with care,” replied the
Jackal. As in जिसकी लाठी उसकी भैंस—Might is Right!”
“Why are humans still besotted with भैंस
in this age of packaged milk delivered at
doorstep in minutes?” tweeted the irreverent Myna, but swiftly silenced by a
stern, censorious look from the Jackal who summed up the BDP:
“They want MORE of everything: land, water, energy, roads,
buildings, factories, malls, hotels, clubs, entertainment zones.”
“Does it concern us?” Some of you might wonder.
“It does. It means LESS of everything for us: forest, land, safe
corridors for movement, water, food, and even breeding space.
Moreover, humans have consistently demonstrated their failure to
plan and live sensibly. Why else would they poison the land, water, and air
which nourish and sustain all life including their own?
Therefore, we must OPPOSE and REJECT the Plan.”
Sher Singh signalled to Bhalu, the wizened Chair of the Cabinet
Committee, to present the Draft Resolution for discussion, if any, and approval
by the GB.
Bhalu rose to his full, imperious height on his hind legs and
said, “The Cabinet Committee has unanimously recommended the following
Resolution:
Our Objection, in one word: NO.
Our Suggestion to humans, in three words: Go to Mars.
Our Vision: To overthrow the hegemony of the greedy, rapacious Homo
sapiens and Make Jungle Land Great Again!
“Feel free to voice your opinions and concerns,” the King told the
GB.
Teetar toned down her shrill voice and said as softly as possible,
“May I humbly submit that the concerns of the smallest of our citizens be kept
in mind? Fireflies are blinded by too much artificial light at night; bees and
butterflies are starved of wild flowers; porcupines have nowhere to dig burrows
in the concrete jungle of men; ground-nesting birds have no grassland or shrubs
in which to build their nests and raise their young. Why, even the shy
earthworm is deprived of a tiny patch of land to till.”
Bhalu rose again. “Very valid points raised by the eloquent
Teetar. The Cabinet Committee has indeed considered at length the impact of the
Plan on all citizens of the Jungle, including trees, plants and grasses. The
earthworm is covered in Annexure 4.”
“Annexure 4?” asked Teetar.
“Annexure 4,” Bhalu repeated, with finality.
“If we oppose and resist the humans, won’t they call us mutineers
or jungle naxals?” asked the reclusive Porcupine.
“We answer to Nature’s Rules, and not to rules made by humans for
humans. Let there be no doubt about this,” roared the King.
There was a brief silence. Thereafter, the Resolution was
unanimously adopted.
Sher Singh spoke. “Now, let us discuss our Strategy to meet this
fresh threat from the humans. Tendua, Chief of Counter-intelligence, Surgical
Strikes and RAW, will present the proposed Strategy.”
Tendua, lean and agile, sprang to his feet. “After careful
evaluation of all options available to us, the following Strategic Plan has the
highest potential for success:
Direct Action: We are unable to submit a written
objection, or even send an email to the notified Joint Director. True, some friendly
forest officials are voicing our concerns, but the authorities unceremoniously
dismiss them as junglees. Therefore, we must take Direct Action.
“After this meeting, we shall proceed to the gates of Ratapani
Reserve and deposit huge mounds of scat to register our protest against the
Plan. A Committee on Scat Logistics, under the Sambar, will coordinate the
operation. Every citizen will contribute according to capacity, and the Bears
are requested to contribute in bulk. Contribution from Jungle Safari elephants is
also solicited.
After nightfall today, Flying Foxes (commonly known as Fruit Bats)
of Kamla Park near Bhopal Taal will execute a top-secret stealth operation, the
details of which will be shared after the success of the mission.
Surgical Strikes: Specially trained commandos from
my army will launch guerrilla attacks, or surgical strikes, if you please, on
human colonies carved out of our ancient jungle land. However, my commandos
will NOT resort to any violence, but merely terrorise the humans.”
The Langur asked, rather timidly, whether “terrorise” and
“non-violent” could coexist. Bhalu ruled that the Committee had always favoured
dialogue, and the matter was not pursued.
After detailed discussion, the GB approved the following
additional actions, over and above the military and sleuth action proposed by
Tendua:
Non-Cooperation Movement: If the Scat Protest and the
Surgical Strikes do not dissuade the humans from implementing their mindless
Plan, citizens of Ratapani will BOYCOTT the Jungle Safaris. All animals, birds
and even butterflies will go into hiding, maintaining complete silence. This
would ruin the tourist economy of humans.
March to Bhopal: If our territory is annexed by
force and our corridors are shut down, we shall proceed on a silent March to
Bhopal on a designated date.
A revered Jain Sadhu who was in Ratapani jungles for chaturmas blessed
the March, and graciously offered to lead it to dissuade humans from violent
reprisal and coercive action. Sher Singh thanked him for his compassion but
sought his blessings for the proud and self-sufficient citizens of the Jungle
to fight their own battle.
Our Protest will be entirely PEACEFUL and our March entirely
NON-VIOLENT. Even if there is provocation or use of force by the oppressors, we
will remain non-violent and be ready to sacrifice our lives, if needed.
(AI-image by CoPilot, basis Blogger's story and prompts)
Media Coverage: This will be a historic occasion,
a March that the world has never before seen. Our junglee friends have assured that
the event will be covered by the Guinness World Records, WWF and other sensible,
sympathetic organisations.
At the end, Sher Singh gave a deafening roar and called upon the
jungle citizens:
“Awake. Arise. Protest against the unjust, oppressive rule by
humans. We have resolved to fight for our FREEDOM; for Freedom from Hunger,
Freedom to Propagate, and Freedom of Movement are our inalienable RIGHTS.”
“What is ‘propagate’?” whispered the Langur.
“Ask the Committee,” whispered the Sambar.
The rest of the King’s roar was lost in the sound of a distant
JCB.
Next morning, the office of the Joint Director, Bhopal Development
Plan, received a large consignment at its gate. Work commenced only after the
premises were thoroughly cleaned and certified fit for human use.
“This nasty protest is inhuman, uncivilised and unacceptable. It
must be summarily rejected,” suggested the Receipt Clerk.
The judicious Joint Director sent a sample for forensic analysis.
Upon receiving a report that the material had been deposited prior to midnight,
he ordered:
“Objections filed by Anonymous Parties within designated date and
time: RECEIVED.”
***
#Ratapani #WildlifeConservation #EnvironmentalSatire #BhopalDevelopment Plan2047 #humanwildlifeconflict
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