Melody Diplomacy: Sweet, Silly, Strategic

During his recent State visit to Italy, PM Modi gifted a packet of Melody to PM Meloni. Both laughed; Meloni posted a photo on X thanking him for the sweet gesture — and the post went viral. Opposition leaders mocked the “silly gift”; Piyush Goel defended it as a proud Product of India. Meanwhile, Parle Industries Ltd — an unrelated infra company — hit the circuit breaker (proof that markets, too, have a sweet tooth).

Parle Biscuits is a private, unlisted company owned by the Chouhan family of Mumbai. The original factory, established in 1929, was in Bombay’s Vile Parle area; hence the name.

Those who allege that the idea for the banal gift came from the very top have little knowledge of the subtle art of diplomacy. Each bilateral or multilateral event is carefully scripted. A State visit, where agreements are signed at the Head of State level, takes six to eight months of preparation. Every detail is agreed upon: the State Lunch or Dinner, the guest list, the seating sequence, the menu, and, of course, the exchange of gifts. Nothing is impromptu, nothing left to chance.

The selection of Melody was neither casual nor banal, but thoughtful. Reliable sources reveal that a subcommittee of MEA officials had shortlisted several products worthy of being presented to the PM of Italy: Marble miniature of Taj Mahal, Maheshwari saree, and desserts — Melody, Mangoes, Malpua, Mysore Pak, Mawa Bati, Misti Doi. Each began with “M,” a letter especially dear to both HoS, observed the smart Director.

“Why not Malda Mango?” asked the JS, eyebrows raised. The Director, armed with research and rhetoric, replied with a flourish:
“Both PMs first met during the G20 Summit in New Delhi in September 2023 and struck a warm bond. Their second meeting at Dubai in December was warmer still. PM Meloni posted a selfie with Hon’ble PM captioned ‘Good friends at COP28 #Melodi.’ Since then, the internet has buzzed with excitement. Millions of posts on ‘Melodi.’ This gift would go viral.

The value of the gift is inconsequential. A gift is priceless. It’s worth lies in the giver, the receiver, and the thoughts behind it.”

The Gift was chosen.

The committee debated minor issues: Should Melody be called candy, dessert, soft power, strategic outreach, or simply Melody Doctrine? Should the packet be opened and rewrapped in silk khadi? And what about customs declaration? Tariff is applicable on import of toffees to Italy. The following was agreed upon:
Contents: caramel-based bilateral confidence-building measure.

As strategized by the mandarins of MEA, PM Modi’s gift to PM Meloni went viral. The committee reconvened to congratulate its foresight and recommended strengthening the Melody Doctrine/Diplomacy. Initial thoughts: a Golden Tower for Trump, Pomfret-Pickle for Putin, and Mahabharata scenes in a hand-painted Kalamkari artwork for Macron.

A Limerick

Dumb critics sneered at the triviality,
Scorned the deplorable diplomatic banality;
Yet Meloni, with pleasure,
Received the sweet treasure —
India’s caramel-powered cordiality.

Meloni Frowns!

He placed the order and discretely received the delivery in 12 minutes, as promised. The gift was already wrapped. He placed it on a tray, decorated it with a few fresh flowers from the garden, and offered it to his spouse with a flourish.

His Meloni frowned. “Give it to the neighbourhood kids,” she said. That did hurt.

Why wasn’t she pleased, he wondered with surprise and regret.

Ah, Melody Doctrine works in international relations, not domestic — he realised.

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