Coffee Connoisseurs, BEWARE!

Hi. With your safety and welfare in mind, I am forwarding the following advisory received by WhatsApp. Please read till the end and take care of yourself, especially if you are a resident of Bhopal. Best wishes.

(Image Source: Wikimedia Commons)

‘Beware! If you have recently received an invitation to sample a FREE cup of coffee handcrafted by the self-anointed Best Barista of Bhopal (BBB) at his Baghmugaliya home, think well before accepting the offer. It may be a bait to ensnare you by the host, alleged to be a savvy and smooth operator - a refined version of the Jamtara fraudsters.

Consider the many tell-tale signs of a scam. Why is the coffee FREE? As you know very well, nothing comes for FREE, and what is peddled as free has a hidden agenda with T&C written in several pages, single space, in font-size 8.

If the host is indeed the BBB he claims to be, why hasn’t he opened a café at DB Mall, Arera Colony, or any other prime location? Is he afraid that clients would soon compare his serving with that of other leading coffee houses in town, and call his bluff?

Where is Baghmugaliya for heaven’s sake? Open the Google Map given in the invite and you would find that he does not even live in Baghmugaliya, but in Baghmugaliya Extension – a decrepit colony of retirees and other poor people. Whoever drinks coffee in that forlorn place sans the signature ambience of bonhomie and joie de vivre of a convivial cafe?

And how do you reach his home? Has he mentioned upfront that you need to negotiate a roller-coaster, bumpy, bone-rattling ride on the road which has either cavernous potholes or savage speed breakers with spikes? Has he advised those with back pain to refrain from undertaking the perilous journey? No, he is silent on that.

There are other perils, too. Though the invitation is for you and your spouse, that is also a sham. Once you are seated in his drawing room, you would note that he pays little attention to you, peremptorily dismisses your well-thought-out, weighty observations on serious matters pertaining to your city, state, country, and the world; but laughs first and loudest at the silliest sound bites of your beautiful spouse. He is all ears for the ladies, and passably polite to the gentlemen including you. Get it now? Coffee is just a ruse, his hidden agenda is to charm the ladies.

Lastly, you would note, sooner rather than later, that several books authored by him are strategically placed at corner racks and side-tables (and where do you put your coffee cup?!)  of the drawing room. He may not directly ask you to buy his books, but he expects you - an intelligent guest, and a voracious reader of non-Best-seller English fiction by non-descript Indian authors- to take the hint, especially after you have sipped his coffee (said to be rather good!) and are in a generous mood. It is rumoured that he has a large stock of unsold ‘Author copies’ which his spouse has threatened to sell to the raddiwallah if not disposed off in the next few weeks.

A lot can happen over coffee. Beware!’

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