Noronha’s ‘terminal illness!’

Soon after joining the Training Academy at Bhopal in July 1982, we called with much trepidation on Mr. R.C.V.P. Noronha (ICS: 1938), the Former Chief Secretary at his home in Arera Colony. We were then young cubs taking baby steps in the mysterious jungle of bureaucracy, and had heard about his fiery temper, acerbic tongue, and penchant for hurling expletives in chaste Hindustani. A tiger who growled, roared, and mauled.

He complimented us on joining Madhya Pradesh, and hoped we would not disappoint or disgrace the state which he loved and the cadre he was proud of. We dared not ask any question for fear of saying something stupid. After the tea, when Mr. Noronha seemed in no mood for further monologue, we thanked him and took leave. A few months later, he passed away.  

Yesterday, I visited the same home again for a delightful chat with Mr. Noronha’s son Ashok who shared a few memories of his illustrious father with me.

Narrating an anecdote, he shared a pic of the following  fading letter:

Here is the reconstructed text:

CABINET SECRETARY

NEW DELHI

November 5, 1969

 

My dear Noronha,

Thanks for your letter dated 31^st October 1969.

We are all very sorry that Doctors have advised you rather pessimistically in regard to your disease. We all hope that the Doctors will be proved wrong.

I have shown your letter to the Prime Minister and she has asked me to convey to you how deeply touched she is about your courageous acceptance of your situation. I am also to tell you that we would not like to disturb you from Madhya Pradesh in view of what you have said.

On my own, I hope that Doctors will be proved wrong in this case and you will have many years of valuable work to the country in front of you.

With deepest regards,

Yours sincerely,

(B. Sivaraman)[i]

 

To:

Shri R. P. Noronha,

Feroze Cottage,

Karbala Road,

Bhopal.

Longest-serving CS

After about five years as Chief Secretary (Nov 1963 – Aug 1968), Noronha served as Adviser to Governor of Punjab during 1968-69. Upon his return to MP in May 1969, he availed of four months of leave during which he was appointed as a Secretary to Government of India, an assignment he was disinclined to accept.

‘Terminal illness’

Mr. Noronha wrote to the Cabinet Secretary informing of his unwillingness to move to Delhi owing to his ‘terminal illness.’ Cabinet Secretary replied to Mr. Noronha’s letter dated 31^st October, 1969, and assured that ‘we would not like to disturb you from Madhya Pradesh’ because of the unfortunate condition. Mr. Sivaraman’s wish for his ‘terminally ill’ dear colleague that he ‘will have many years of valuable work to the country’ was fulfilled in due course!

R.P. Naik (ICS:1943) served as Chief Secretary from 18 Nov 1969 to 6 Sep 1972 during which Noronha was Chief Controller, Finance. Noronha was appointed as Chief Secretary for the 2^nd term, joined on 6 Sep 1972, and retired from the post on 14 May 1975, famously riding away from Vallabh Bhavan on his moped.

Chitra Mishra has written an excellent memoir for which the link is:

Remembering Noronha (1916-1982), the Legendary Officer – Tryst with Dholpur House (wordpress.com)

A Tale Told by an Idiot by Mr. Noronha is a must read for all civil servants. The book has been translated by Mr. I. S. Dani into Hindi: Ek Anadi ki Kahani.

Noronha’s Fish Curry[ii]

 On 26^th January 1958, Mr. Noronha, Commissioner, Jabalpur was on tour to Narsinghpur. Mrs. Noronha and their children were also with him.   They stayed in Barman Rest House. The next day, Mr. Noronha was to inspect Gadarwara Tehsil.

Mr. Noronha was very fond of angling. He caught a fish from Narmada, made a nice curry, and invited Mr. Manohar Keshav (IAS:1953), Collector, Narsinghpur to dine with him. The fish curry was delicious and eaten with much relish. Unfortunately, a fishbone got stuck in Mr. Noronha’s throat and caused him much distress.

Assistant Surgeon, Narsinghpur was called in. He was a Bengali. No problem, he said. Just make a big ball of rice and swallow it at once. That’d fix the problem. Much tried and tested, Sir, he said.

Mr. Noronha tried the prescribed remedy more than once, but no sooner did he put the ball of rice into his mouth than he began to chew vigorously as was his habit. He failed since he had never swallowed a big ball of rice at once.

He abandoned his proposed inspection of Gadarwara tehsil and rushed back to Jabalpur to have the fishbone removed by a surgeon.

A fish from Narmada ended up on the dining table but took sweet revenge by causing some pain and distress to the angler and aborting the stern Commissioner’s Inspection, much to the relief of the Collector, SDO, Tehsildar and the office staff.

***

---

[i] Mr. B. Sivaraman, ICS (1934) was Cabinet Secretary (1.1.1969 – 30.11.1970). During 23.3.1949 – 13.3. 1955, he was Commissioner, Northern Division at Sambalpur, Odisha.

[ii] As narrated by Mr. Manohar Keshav to the blogger on 01.09.2016.

When I got Lemons…

The Lemon Tree

Our modest garden - with a small lawn, roses, hibiscus, jasmine, night-queen, madhukamini, and a few Brahmakamal plants in pots - has no space for large trees. Years ago, we had planted a lemon sapling about six inches tall on the sliver of land between the southern boundary wall and the paved corridor providing access to the maid to the washing area at the back of the kitchen.

The lemon tree languished there like an orphan while the rose-bushes bordering the manicured lawn enjoyed royal treatment with generous feed of rose mixture, neem-khali, and mindful watering. It was good that it never got to watch how Ma’am fussed over her roses and took great pride in the beautiful flowers that bloomed in season.

Yet, it grew and grew by sheer force of will, it seems, and three years ago surprised us with a modest yield of a few fruits – small but juicy. Fed with vermicompost and watered twice a week; this year’s crop is bountiful, and the size of lemons is impressive. At last, you took notice and looked after me; and see what I’m capable of. Have your roses gladdened the hearts of your neighbours as I’ve pleased their palate, it asked us?

Thanks, Dear Lemon Tree, for your luxuriant produce. Sorry for the years of neglect. I had never nurtured a lemon tree, busy as I was slogging at my work. No idea, though, if my endeavours over those long years yielded much fruit. 

(Our Lemon Tree: Eureka cultivar)

(Lemon Tree's Morning Gift) 

Your zest amazes me. How did you dig into the rocky terrain and manage to grow on such a thin strip of land? How much taller would you grow? What variety are you - Thar Vaibhav, Lucknow seedless, Eureka, Lisbon, Genoa? I shared a pic of the fruit with Google and asked. It smartly noticed the tiny nipple-tip bump on the yellow fruit and determined that you are a Eureka cultivar.

With an average life span of fifty years, you’d easily outlive us. We hope our successors would look after you well, and you would continue to shower your gifts on them.

Nimbu-Mirchi Totka

We don’t hang a totka-garland at our entrance door. With our sturdy lemon tree standing as a sentinel with glowing lemons studded like medallions on its wide chest, what evil eye dare look at our home?

Make Lemonade?

You have heard the quote - “If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade.” What do you think of it? A bit preachy and patronising, no? Maybe, the unsolicited advice was given by one who never made lemonade for self or for sale. The positivity quote was popularised by Dale Carnegie in How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, who attributed it to Jules Renard, though Elbert Hubbard, a writer, first used it in 1915.

Let the Americans make lemonade, but what should we do? Make nimbu ka achaar, since our production of nimbu far exceeds our consumption of the fresh fruit for sikanji, serbet, nimbu-rice, marinating, seasoning, or just a slice of lemon served with lunch or dinner. India is the world’s largest producer of lemon. The tree is native to North-east India and Myanmar.

To practise what I preach, I made nimbu ka meetha achaar following Nish Madhulika’s easy-to-do recipe on You Tube. My third tryst at making pickles after previous limited editions of tasty tamarind and moringa achaar!

(Nimbu ka meetha achaar by Blogger-Master Chef)

Sanjukta tasted it. Good, but too much of ajwain, she said. I had goofed up. Nisha’s recipe was for half a kilo of lemons, I had taken about 200 grams, but had used as much spice as she had recommended!

Why don’t we have a weighing scale in out kitchen? How is a talented chef to achieve excellence without scientific measurement? I fumed.

We had a scale, but that was long ago. My dishes taste fine without measurement, she said.

When Life Gives You Tangerines…

That’s a South Korean TV serial (Genre: Romance, Slice of Life, Drama) on Netflix. We have watched two episodes. It’s about the life and struggle of Ae-Sun – a poor but feisty girl from a little fishing island determined to move to Mainland and make good in life.

Mandarins, oranges, and tangerines are considered lucky fruits in China and South-east Asia.

But why is lemon looked down upon, scorned, and pitied in America? Why don’t they counsel: If you got pumpkins, make pumpkin-pie; if you got cotton, spin yarns and tie suffocating knots on global trade; if you got sugar, sell colas and sugared-drinks to make the world obese; if you got corn, flood the world with cornflakes spiked with sugar?

Nimbooda, Nimbooda, Nimbooda…

You may have watched the Bollywood film Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. Remember Aishwarya Rai’s voluptuous dance to the Nimbooda, Nimbooda song? I wondered why the dancer was so excited about ordinary lemons till I read that the song’s lyrics involve word play with sexual connotations, easily understood by adults in Rajasthan. That’s why the suggestive song is so popular in marriage celebrations.

Recently, I played (from You Tube) Gazi Singh Manganiar’s rendering of this popular Rajasthani folk song in Raag Bhairavi! A columnist rues that Aishwarya is remembered for this hit song while few know about Gazi Singh’s exquisite rendering.

Lemon: Medicinal properties

Since ages, lemon has been used in India for common remedies. Ayurveda uses lemon to treat migraine, dyspepsia, sore throat, bleeding gums, mouth odour, and several other ailments.

Limey

The British learned of lemon’s life-saving capability only in 1747 when James Lind, a Scottish naval surgeon discovered that scurvy which killed thousands of seamen is cured by citrus fruits – rich in vitamin C. Thereafter, Captains mandated the daily tipple ration for seamen to be spiked with lime. That simple measure saved lives; but got the British seamen, and later all Britishers, the sobriquet of Limey!

Nimbu Cleansing

Nimbu is not merely edible, it infused nimbu ki tazgi for a fragrant bath with Liril – the soap marketed with the iconic ad by Alyque Padamsee. Remember the youthful girl cavorting under a waterfall at Kodaikanal for her solitary, joyful bath, and the catchy jingle “La La Liril, La La Liril”? She was Karen Lunel, an air hostess who became famous as a model with that single ad. Later, Preity Zinta, and Deepika Padukone became Liril Girls.

After Liril came nimbu ki mahashakti - nimbu detergent bars and nimbu-infused liquid detergents. Citric acid efficiently removes oil and grime.

Nimbuka, Lisbon, Genoa

Nimbuka is the Sanskrit name for lemon. This plant from India has travelled the world, adapted to local climate, and birthed famous cultivars – Eureka in Mexico and California, Lisbon in Portugal, and Genoa in Italy. After global travel, it has returned to the country of its birth and happily rubs shoulders with the unpretentious desi relatives. Assam is proud of the unique aroma of its State Fruit Nemu Tenga (kazi nemu and gul nemu, too), Bengal goes gaga over Gondhraj.

An Ode to Lemon

Lemon, Lemon, Lemon!

Slayer of scurvy demon,

Nature’s little bundle of nectar,

From India you’ve travelled far;

Provider of daily dose of Vit C,

Thirst-buster, body-cleanser, utensil-shiner,

Your juice pure,

For several ailments

A guaranteed cure.

Accept my humble offering -

Water twice a week,

A helping of vermicompost, and

My sincere gratitude;

Shower your blessings on us,

Lemon, O Lemon,

Slayer of scurvy demon.

May your roots dig deep,

Branches stay strong,

Fruits bountiful,

O democratic saviour,

Thirst-buster of all – rich and poor.

***

 Postscript

Gautam Bhattacharya

Sharing a Lemon Tree song of our Ranchi childhood which used to be sung by a classmate, Soumitra. He used to have a great voice and was famous for his rendition of English songs.

Although we have never met after 1969, thanks to various social media platforms we are now in touch with each other but our get-together still eludes us.

"Lemon Tree" was inspired by a 1930 Brazilian song called "Meu limão meu limoeiro". It was written by Will Holt in the late 1950s.

A hit song of Peter, Paul and Mary, album produced & sung in 1960.

https://youtu.be/O54UrX4YF9k?si=NkIeI2pNwwBj4Bej

Me: Thanks, Gautam, for sharing this lovely song. I hadn't heard it before.

Aruna

Wow, such an encompassing lemon puran.

Anjuly

As refreshing as a freshly made shikanji.

G Subbu

A "dash" of squeezed lemon,

Served with ice, salt and sugar,  eases every tension,

The humble juice, which is citric,

Ironically, removes grime because it is acidic,

But what Prasanna loves, is its connection with Karen !!

😂

Ashok Noronha

Ashok: Read your blog. Interesting foray into achaar making. Would you like some karondas - fresh from my farm?

Me: We have never bought karonda. Isn't it very sour?

A: Yes, it is. But with lots of hot chilli, it makes a tangy curry. Maybe, you can make kalounji.

Me: What's kalounji?

A: A pickle with jaggery. Mango kalounji is popular, and karonda kalounji is sour and sweet. Btw, the plum on the run-of-the-mill cakes is usually a sweetened karonda. Come in a day or two and pick up some before it gets stale.

Note: Karonda is Bengal currant or Carandas plum. It is sometimes referred to as Christ's thorn or Black currant.

Using AI is Easy and Fun!

Do you use AI? If you do, great; if not, what a pity! You’re missing out on a helpful tool. Using AI is easy and a lot of fun.

Why use AI, you may ask? Why not, I’d ask, for it’s willing to help YOU, for FREE.

(My Genie with a winsome smile:

Image created by CoPilot upon Blogger's request)

Let me tell you how I use AI, my usage merrily swinging from fun to frivolous to functional.

Healthy BMI

Concerned about my significant weight loss during the last two years (that’s a fact), Sanjukta pesters me to eat more which I resist. To put her fears to rest, I picked up my phone and asked Google Assistant: Hey, Google! My height is 5 ft 8 inches, and weight 61 kg. Is my BMI normal? BMI, I explained to spouse, is Body Mass Index, and the score indicates if you’re underweight, normal weight, or overweight.

GA answered right away: With a height of 173 cm (5'8") and a weight of 61 kg, your Body Mass Index (BMI) is 20.38 which falls within the normal range of 18.5 to 24.9.

I further asked GA: If the height is X and the weight is Y, is the lady’s BMI normal? Spouse didn’t like what GA said. I’ve no time for this bakwas; you must gain weight, she ruled. You must lose weight, I wished to say, but thought better of it.

High Tea

For a ‘High Tea’ we plan to host soon at home, I sought AI help, when Sanjukta was away! She would take offence if she knew I had consulted AI; for she is an amazing host, carefully picks the menu, and cooks most of the dishes herself.

Trust me, I was just curious. What would ChatGPT, Copilot, and Google Gemini suggest? I asked each of them:

“We plan to host a High Tea for 8 couples (all senior citizens) at our home in Bhopal next week during 11.30 AM - 2.00 PM. Please suggest a menu for drinks (non-alcoholic), dishes (veg & non-veg), and desserts; Indian cuisine; healthy, home-cooked food.”

In a flash, each App offered a comprehensive menu, each different from the other, and with one asking: Do you need help with a shopping list for ingredients?

Read the suggestions by ChatGPT [i], I bet you’d be impressed.

Holiday Planner

For a Group Holiday, I asked AI to plan a detailed itinerary and cost estimate for a 7N/8D trip to Sri Lanka. Here’s what I asked:

“Proposed Holiday to Sri Lanka for 25 couples (senior citizens), Ex-Delhi, 2nd week of Dec 2025, Itinerary to include Kandy, Nuwara Eliya, Welligama, Mirissa, Galle Fort, Balapitiya, Kosgoda; stay in 4-star or 5-star hotels, Indian veg & non-veg meals for lunch & dinner, economy-class flight tickets Delhi-Colombo-Delhi, transport in Sri Lanka in AC Deluxe coach. Please suggest detailed itinerary, night halts, hotels for night-stay and meals, and estimated cost per person. Also provide contact details of reputed tour operators in India and/or Sri Lanka who may offer a complete package.”

I got all the guidance I was looking for. Each AI app provided a detailed itinerary, similar but with notable differences - including in estimated cost. It gave contact details of tour operators specialising in senior-citizen tours.

Sell old car & Buy a new one

I’m toying with the idea of selling my old car and buying a new one. What’s the resale value of my car, and which new car should I buy? I asked AI.

Just from my car Registration number, AI found out all required details about the car (Year of purchase, Model, etc); and mentioned a range, from minimum to maximum, for the resale value. Do you know, 8 vehicles – same model as your car with different mileages - are listed for sale at Bhopal. Check the prices quoted for guidance, it counselled.

Which new car to buy? It asked for a few details - about my usage pattern, preferences, and budget - which I provided. For mostly city-run, you may buy a hatchback – comfortable for self-drive, and easier to park. It provided several choices with ex-showroom price at Bhopal.

House Renovation

I asked AI:

Hi. I'm renovating my house in Sambalpur, Odisha by affixing GVT tiles over old mosaic floor. Can you pls suggest

1.   Optimal tile sizes for the rooms to avoid wastage?  

2.   Estimate for Kajaria, Johnson, Somany, and Simpolo tiles

3.   Number of adhesive bags (20 kg packs) & estimate for Ruff, Asian Paints, Birla white or any other reputed brand

4.   Total cost estimate for materials, and labour

5.   For tiles, my preferred colours – white, grey, beige; mat-finish, understated but elegant. Pls suggest designs for various rooms.

I uploaded a pic of the Floor Plan of the house.

I guess my architect friends won’t like this, but I found AI Architect’s guidance comprehensive and useful. It recommended tiles costing @60-70 (not the premium costing @100+), a mix of sizes (2ftx4ft for the hall, 2ftx2ft for the bedrooms, and 1x1 ft tiles for bathroom walls), and suitable colours (warm tone for drawing-dining, elegant but understated for bedrooms). It provided the following guidance:

·      Total cost estimate – separately for tiles, adhesive, labour

·      Room-wise lay-out plan, suggested colour, and pick from top tile companies’ catalogues

·      Contact details of tiles dealers at Sambalpur, and of contractors I may consider hiring.

I can give you a PDF or Word file with all these details for your contractor to follow and execute, AI said.

What more could I possibly need?

How I began using AI?

In December 2023, days after launch of ChatGPT by OpenAI, my daughter asked me to try it. I explored its features and was fascinated. Then, I tried Microsoft Bing, and Google Bard; and got all three to solve sample questions from General Studies papers for Civil Services Exam. On my playful assessment of the capabilities of these new AI tools, I had written two blogs – ChatGPT Fails IAS Exam & BING Cracks IAS Exam - for which the links are at endnotes.[ii] [iii]

Thereafter, I’ve regularly used AI – CoPilot (Microsoft), ChatGPT (OpenAI), and Google Gemini – in that order. Why, you may ask, is ChatGPT with largest number of subscribers in the world (200 million) my second preference? Because I have a Free Account which restricts me to 15-20 queries a day (24 hrs). This morning, at 4.30 AM, I began firing questions at ChatGPT, and got the replies, all quite useful, till it flashed a Notice: You’ve exhausted your limit for the day. You’re welcome to return tomorrow at 4.39 AM! You may subscribe to ChatGPT-4, it prompted. It costs $20 per month. No, thanks, I’m happy with my Free Account. CoPilot & Gemini-AI have no limits at present, because they have fewer subscribers than ChatGPT, I guess.

400 Qs, 50 hrs

Since I began, I’ve asked ChatGPT over 400 questions, spent nearly 50 hours exploring different topics, and grown quite fond of my AI “assistant.”

How else do I use AI? Not merely for play, but for work, too, you may note.

·      To understand/know things I didn’t – Nash Equilibrium, Schrödinger’s cat, What-if Scenario for global nuclear holocaust, etc.

·      Research, References, Reading lists, Summary of books, Book/Film Reviews (to choose which books to read and which films to watch)

·      Generate AI-images for my blogs; for my previous satire on bureaucrats, I used an image created by Gemini.

·      Queries – Health & Wellness, nutrition, Utilitarian – Legal (Will, End of Life – Living Will)

·      Esoteric Queries – Compare Tolstoy, Kafka, and Miller – each of these authors wrote a novel where the protagonist dies; Prof Nash’s IQ?

·      Theory of Relativity (E = mc²) - a lucid explanation for middle-school students: A small amount of mass can be converted into a huge amount of energy; Einstein’s delightfully witty quotes on relativity:

“When you are courting a nice girl, an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder, a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”

I could give a few other brief illustrations.

AI read my annual pathological report (PDF uploaded), complimented me on overall health status, but flagged my Vit-D deficiency, suggested a supplement, and counselled a diet-plan.

It read my Demat Holding, and expressed concern regarding my excessive risk exposure. Thumb-rule for equity exposure is 100 minus your age, it reminded, and recommended seeking help of a SEBI-certified investment adviser to rebalance my portfolio.

Disclaimer

Do I trust AI? Do I act upon its advice? Is it always right? No, it isn’t. Sometimes, it makes mistakes. When I correct it, AI apologises and thanks me. To be fair, AI always makes a Disclaimer: I may not always be right.

So, what to do? Use AI’s reply, help and guidance, but don’t blindly follow it. Use commonsense.

Begin Here if you have never used AI?

I guess you’ve already used AI in some or other form. Just in case you haven’t, BEGIN right away. It’s easy. Your smartphone most likely has Google Assistant. Just click the Mic button and ask: is it likely to rain day after tomorrow in the evening? I just asked: I’m going out in the evening. Should I carry an umbrella? GA said: No, there’d be no rain this evening in Bhopal. I didn’t type my query, I just spoke to GA who answered as a human assistant would but added a written response, too, in case I had missed its words.

Type your questions, if you must, but voice search works fine most of the time. GA very quickly learns how you speak and gets your questions right; it may occasionally fumble a little which you can easily correct.

What to ask, you may wonder. If you know all, and your mind is entirely free from any query, you’re amazingly erudite, and an evolved soul; but if you’re a regular homo sapien, you may have many queries every day. Throw your queries at AI, you’d be pleasantly surprised how useful it is. Would AI snap at you or be impatient if you asked a stupid question? No, AI is not a person, it’s a tool. Ready to help you, 24x7, for free!

Finally, what can AI do for you? It can help in several ways, short of providing a herbal oil-massage or fetching cash from the ATM for you. D

---

[i] ChatGPT

That sounds like a lovely and elegant gathering! For a High Tea with senior citizen couples (16 guests total) at home in Bhopal, with a focus on Indian cuisine, healthy, home-cooked food, here’s a well-balanced, flavourful, and age-appropriate menu suggestion for the time slot of 11:30 AM to 2:00 PM:

________________________________________

🫖 DRINKS (served on arrival & replenished during event)

1.       Tulsi-Ginger Herbal Tea – caffeine-free, good for digestion & immunity

2.       Masala Chai (Low Sugar/Milk) – classic choice, can offer jaggery as sweetener

3.       Chilled Aam Panna / Jaljeera – refreshing, aids digestion

4.       Lemon Mint Water – detoxifying and cooling

5.       Fresh Coconut Water – natural and hydrating (optional)

________________________________________

🍛 SAVOURIES / MAIN DISHES

Split into light savouries, one filling dish, and mini portions for easy consumption.

🥗 Vegetarian Options:

1.       Mini Vegetable Sandwiches – cucumber, tomato, mint chutney on atta bread

2.       Dhokla (Steamed, with tempered mustard) – light and protein-rich

3.       Stuffed Mini Parathas (Paneer / Methi) – served with curd dip

4.       Hara Bhara Kabab – shallow-fried spinach-peas cutlets, heart-healthy

5.       Mini Idli with Coconut & Tomato Chutney – easy to eat, soft, non-oily

6.       Upma with Vegetables – light and warm, can be served in small bowls

🍗 Non-Vegetarian Options:

1.       Chicken Seekh Kabab (grilled, not deep-fried) – boneless, mildly spiced

2.       Egg Mayo Sandwiches – protein-rich and soft

3.       Mini Chicken Keema Pav / Puffs – light masala, small portions

4.       Grilled Fish Tikka (optional) – marinated in curd, lemon & mild spices

📝 Tip: Keep 3–4 vegetarian and 2 non-vegetarian savouries. Mark veg/non-veg clearly.

________________________________________

🍨 DESSERTS (Light & Traditional)

Keep portions small to allow sampling.

1.       Phirni or Seviyan Kheer – made with toned milk, stevia/jaggery option

2.       Fruit Chaat Cups – seasonal fruits with a light chaat masala twist

3.       Sandesh / Rasgulla (small-sized) – low-fat chhena-based sweet

4.       Date & Nut Laddoo / Barfi – no sugar added, natural sweetness

5.       Homemade Kulfi (in matka / shot glasses) – optional for festive touch

________________________________________

🍽️ Suggested Service Style

•        Set up a buffet counter with name tags, spoon/fork picks, small plates

•        Tea/coffee to be served on tray or thermos flasks by helping hands

•        Dessert corner with mini bowls or cups (easy grip)

________________________________________

🛍️ Additional Touches

•        Use eco-friendly crockery (palm leaf plates/cups) or steel/porcelain

•        Light instrumental music (old Hindi, sitar, flute)

•        A shaded or semi-indoor space with fans, chairs with cushions

•        Napkins, toothpicks, wet wipes available on side tables

________________________________________

Would you like a printable version of this menu or a shopping list & preparation timeline too?

[ii] https://www.pkdash.in/2023/02/chatgpt-fails-ias-exam.html

[iii]  https://www.pkdash.in/2023/03/bing-cracks-ias-exam.html

 Bureaucrats: A Boon or a Bane?

A Nation-wide Survey

Not long ago, a few persons received a rather unusual WhatsApp message; unusual because of the Advisory in bold capital letters: PLEASE DO NOT SHARE!

“As you are aware, our country is run by competent governments, and the governments are run by bright bureaucrats who are sometimes unfairly criticised for being petulant pen-pushers; babus building less roads but bent upon erecting road-blocks here, there, and everywhere.

This study is undertaken for a better understanding and appreciation of bureaucrats who are the solid, time-tested pillars of good governance.

You have been selected to participate in this independent, non-partisan, nation-wide survey by a reputed university to compile a comprehensive list of the defining qualities of bureaucrats.

Please complete the Questionnaire given below and submit your response at your earliest. It should take you not more than five minutes.

Please note that this is a pro-bono project undertaken by the university and is hoped to immensely benefit the nation. Therefore, you will not be paid for participating in the survey. However, 10 ‘Best Responses’ selected by our Panel of Experts will be published in our portal; and in a special ceremony to be held in New Delhi the lucky respondents will be awarded a Certificate of Expertise in Study, Evaluation, and Demystification of Civil Servants.

Research Methodology

Stakeholders are many, but for this study only 10 stakeholder groups are selected. From each group, 1000 Respondents are selected at random with proportionate representation from various age-groups, genders, religions, regions, linguistic, professional groups, castes, and classes.

Questionnaire

1.   Do you think the bureaucrats run the country? (Y/N)

2.   Do you think they have the intelligence and skill-set to run the country? (Y/N)

3.   Do you think the bureaucrats are singularly responsible for good governance in the country? (Y/N)

4.   Do you think the bureaucrats act and behave like public servants? (Y/N)

5.   Do you think they are corrupt? (Y/N)

6.   Do you think the bureaucracy should be entirely overhauled? (Y/N)

7.   Did you seek any help or facilitation from a bureaucrat recently? (Y/N)

8.   Did you receive it? (Y/N)

9.   Your level of satisfaction on a scale of 1 to 10? (1 for least satisfied, 10 for fully satisfied)

10.                  What are the defining qualities of a bureaucrat? How would you briefly describe a bureaucrat? Preferably in one sentence, and in no case exceeding three sentences (Word-limit: 50 words).

Best Responses

Politicians (Ministers, MPs, MLAs, Party Presidents, etc.):

A bureaucrat is a wild horse that must be tamed, and assigned to a capable, experienced rider.

Judges (SC, HC, including Retired)

A bureaucrat is a bull in a china shop, and must be restrained with the whip of contempt of court, and the leash of frequent judicial oversight.

Bureaucrats (Senior, Junior, Retired)

A bureaucrat is a beast of burden carrying the heavy weight of the governance of this vast, unwieldy, problematic country on its sturdy shoulders, and hence must be fed well (pay-parity with the private sector).

Business-person

A bureaucrat is (Business)man’s best friend; though a pit-bull can be unpredictable and dangerous! Easily managed with a steady supply of dog-bones.  

Journalists (Print & Electronic media, Social-Media)

A bureaucrat croaks like a frog and feels hurt when there is little applause from the audience for which journalists are unfairly blamed.

Academician

A bureaucrat is like an owl – the carrier of Lakshmi; gifted with stealth-flight and night-vision, it unerringly hunts  its prey at night; for day-time operations, they must be schooled in specialist institutions.

NGO/Activist

A bureaucrat is a hen  which lays a small egg and shrieks as though the egg is golden.

Doctor/Nutritionist

A bureaucrat is perpetually hungry; omnivorous with a constitution capable of digesting stones.

Thinker/Philosopher

A bureaucrat is a chameleon.

Aam Aadmi (A Voter)

A bureaucrat is like Shiva’s serpent, doesn’t directly demand an offering of milk daily but partakes a modest portion from what is poured on his Lord and Master.

Executive Summary

A bureaucrat is a strange creature, possibly alien. Maybe, to deal with the bewildering problems and challenges in running our country, useful features from a range of animals have been borrowed by our nation-builders to create this versatile creature – not much unlike the hugely-successful demon-king  Dashanan who with ten heads and twenty arms had conquered the three worlds.

(Image generated by Gemini-AI)

Disclaimer

The opinions of the above-mentioned stakeholders-respondents are not to be misconstrued as the opinion of this blogger – a former bureaucrat. He believes that a bureaucrat  is a fine specimen of Homo Sapiens (the wise man); though his own views may have an inescapable subjective bias.

***

Humorous Quotes on Bureaucrats

·      “A bureaucrat is like a Kafkaesque spider—weaving webs of process, then pretending to be surprised when you get stuck.”

·      “A bureaucrat moves like a sloth through treacle—slow, deliberate, and entirely unaware that the world is on fire.”

·      “He wound through red tape like a python, squeezing progress out of every policy.”

·      “Some bureaucrats are sacred cows: unmovable, unquestionable, and completely unaware of the mess they're standing in.”

·      “Give a bureaucrat a banana and he’ll write three memos, file it under ‘fruit procurement,’ and request a committee to peel it.”

·      “Bureaucrats are like pigeons in a government plaza—flapping endlessly, dropping forms from above, and scattering at accountability.”

·      “Like ants, bureaucrats march in endless lines, building nothing visible but defending it with paperwork.”

·      “They repeat the policy manual like parrots—colourful, noisy, and incapable of original thought.”

 

A Beautiful Mind:

Nash’s Triumph & Torment

What a blessing to have a beautiful mind, though it is no guarantee for a beautiful life. A beautiful mind may even be troubled, tortured, and tormented.

A Beautiful Mind (2001) is a film based on Sylvia Nasar’s unauthorized but acclaimed biography A Beautiful Mind (1998) which explores John Nash’s life – his talent, torment, and triumph.  

(Russell Crowe as Prof Nash)

A mathematical genius, he is renowned for Nash Equilibrium, a crucial theorem for Game Theory. Nash suffered from debilitating mental illness but overcame it without medication, returned to academics at Princeton, and in 1994 was awarded the Nobel Prize in Economic sciences, jointly with two others. Sadly, he and his wife died in a car accident in 2015.

Nash Equilibrium is briefly mentioned in the film. The hero suggests why he and his friends should NOT choose the most attractive girl in the party for the best outcome – each one enjoying the company of one of the girls accompanying the most desirable one. See endnotes for a basic explainer on Game Theory and Nash Equilibrium.[i]

How did Nash and Alicia react to the book and the film?

Nasar’s book A Beautiful Mind (1998) was an unauthorized biography of mathematician John Nash, offering detailed insights into his life, work, and battle with schizophrenia. Although factually accurate, both John and Alicia Nash found it intrusive and overly personal, particularly because it included sensitive material they had not publicly disclosed.

In contrast, the film adaptation (2001), directed by Ron Howard, took creative liberties—omitting difficult details and romanticizing parts of their relationship. Surprisingly, both Nash and Alicia were more accepting of the film, appreciating its emotional depth and the public awareness it brought to mental illness.

What did Nash & Alicia say on A Beautiful Mind?

On the book:

John Nash - “It’s not my favourite subject, but it’s mostly true.”

Alicia Nash - “It was a violation of our privacy. It told the truth, but not with compassion.”

On the film:

John Nash - “It’s not how it happened. But it’s how it felt.”

Alicia Nash - “They left things out, yes. But they captured his pain—and his genius. That matters more.”

John Nash on Russell Crowe:
“I was surprised. He seemed to understand things about me even I didn't.”

Alicia Nash on public reaction:
“If it helped people understand mental illness and love a little better, then it was worth it.”

Biopics & Biographies

“Nothing human is alien to me.” – Terence

Why do we watch biopics or read biographies and autobiographies?

These narratives offer much more than just a life story: they illuminate human experience, provide inspiration, and offer insight into the times and choices that shaped these individuals who changed the world or simply endured it with courage.

Which biopics to watch? You may pick from the Top 10 Oscar-winning biopics.[ii] 

If you’ve already watched all those films, you may select from among Oscar-nominated but overlooked films[iii].

I also recommend The Man Who Knew Infinity - a 2015 film on Srinivas Ramanujan, the Indian mathematical prodigy.

Which books to read?[iv]

No one has time to read about the lives of all such extraordinary men and women who have ever lived. Since Homo sapiens first appeared on earth about 300,000 years ago, about 117–120 billion have been born. That includes the current living population of 8.1 billion. How many of these humans were/are exceptional meriting Biographies, Autobiographies & Biopics? I have no idea. Must be several thousand, if not more. How many such lives have we read about? Only a few, because life is short.

Who is a Genius?

A super-achiever; one with a very high IQ, exceptional creativity, problem-solving ability? A great leader? The world’s most compassionate, most-revered? The richest? What distinguishes a genius from an ordinary human? Are some geniuses the product of their times?

Maybe, I will write about these issues in a subsequent blog.

Genius & Mental Illness

Research suggests some correlation between high creative or intellectual functioning and vulnerability to mood disorders, particularly: Bipolar disorder (Manic-Depressive Illness), Schizophrenia, Severe depression, Autism spectrum traits.

Notably, not all geniuses suffer from mental illness, and not all mental illness leads to genius. The romanticized “mad genius” is more myth than rule.

A few geniuses who suffered mental illness were: Nash (paranoid schizophrenia), Vincent van Gogh (bipolar disorder or temporal lobe epilepsy), Sylvia Plath (major depression), Newton (exhibited periods of delusional paranoia and isolation), Beethoven -Musical genius despite deafness (depression and erratic behaviour).

Genius: Unsung & Unrecognised

Not every genius achieves greatness, not due to a lack of talent, but often due to external circumstances, personal struggles, or inner conflicts.

A few geniuses who failed to achieve greatness (at least during their lifetimes), despite immense potential: Nikola Tesla (Inventor & Electrical Engineer), Srinivasa Ramanujan (Mathematical Prodigy), Vincent van Gogh (Painter), Alan Turing (Computer Scientist & Mathematician), Emily Dickinson (Poet), Gregor Mendel (Geneticist).

Note: All end-notes are by ChatGPT.

---

[i] Understanding Game Theory and Nash Equilibrium: A Simple Guide

What is Game Theory?

Game Theory is a branch of mathematics that studies how people make decisions when they are interacting with others. It's not just about games like chess or cards—it applies to real-life situations like:

•          Competing businesses setting prices

•          Countries negotiating treaties

•          Students deciding whether to study or cheat

In Game Theory, each person is called a "player", and each player has a set of "strategies" (choices). The goal is to predict what everyone will do when their decisions affect each other.

What is a Nash Equilibrium?

A Nash Equilibrium happens when no player has anything to gain by changing their own strategy—as long as the other players stick with theirs. It’s a situation where everyone is making the best choice they can, given what others are doing.

Example: The Prisoner’s Dilemma

Two suspects are caught by the police and kept in separate cells. They can either "Confess" or "Stay Silent".

                            Prisoner B: Stays Silent  Prisoner B: Confesses

Prisoner A: Stays Silent  A: 1 yr, B: 1 yr   A: 10 yrs, B: Free

Prisoner A: Confesses   A: Free, B: 10 yrs   A: 5 yrs, B: 5 yrs

If both stay silent, they get only 1 year.

But if one confesses and the other doesn’t, the one who confesses goes free while the other gets 10 years.

So, what do they do?

Nash Equilibrium: Both confess.

Why? Because each is afraid the other will confess, and if they stay silent while the other confesses, they get the worst deal.

Even though cooperation (staying silent) gives a better outcome, the fear of betrayal leads both to confess.

Real-Life Applications

Business:

Two companies decide whether to lower prices. If both cut prices, they lose profits. But if one cuts and the other doesn't, the cutter wins more customers.

Sports:

In penalty kicks, a goalkeeper and kicker play a strategic game—where to shoot or dive is influenced by the opponent’s behaviour.

Online Platforms:

YouTubers or Instagram creators decide how much to post or promote to stay ahead—if one posts daily, others may feel forced to do the same.

Why is Nash Equilibrium Important?

•          Helps us predict outcomes in competitive situations.

•          Encourages thinking not just about what I want, but what others will do.

•          Applies to economics, politics, biology, psychology, and more.

Conclusion

Game Theory teaches us that life is full of strategic choices. Nash Equilibrium is a powerful tool to understand how people make decisions in a world where everyone is thinking about everyone else. Whether the players are two prisoners, rival businesses, or even students in a classroom—Game Theory gives us a window into how real-world choices are made.

Summary

       PRISONER’S DILEMMA

•          Both Stay Silent → 1 year each

•          One Confesses → Other gets 10 yrs

•          Both Confess → 5 years each       

•          Nash Equilibrium: Both confess

[ii] Top 10 Oscar-Winning Biopics

1. Gandhi (1982)

Subject: Mahatma Gandhi

Oscar Wins: 8 (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor – Ben Kingsley)

A sweeping epic about India's freedom struggle and the life of a spiritual revolutionary.

________________________________________

2. Amadeus (1984)

Subject: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Oscar Wins: 8 (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor – F. Murray Abraham)

A dazzling portrayal of genius and jealousy in classical music's golden age.

________________________________________

3. A Beautiful Mind (2001)

Subject: John Nash (mathematician)

Oscar Wins: 4 (Best Picture, Best Director, Supporting Actress, Adapted Screenplay)

Blends brilliance with fragility in the story of a gifted mind battling schizophrenia.

________________________________________

4. The King’s Speech (2010)

Subject: King George VI

Oscar Wins: 4 (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor – Colin Firth, Screenplay)

A moving story about overcoming personal limits under the pressure of history.

________________________________________

5. Oppenheimer (2023)

Subject: J. Robert Oppenheimer (father of the atomic bomb)

Oscar Wins: 7 (Best Picture, Best Director – Christopher Nolan, Best Actor – Cillian Murphy)

A bold, haunting look at science, power, and moral reckoning.

________________________________________

6. Ray (2004)

Subject: Ray Charles (musician)

Oscar Wins: 2 (Best Actor – Jamie Foxx, Sound Mixing)

Jamie Foxx’s transformative performance captures the rise of a musical icon.

________________________________________

7. Lincoln (2012)

Subject: Abraham Lincoln

Oscar Wins: 2 (Best Actor – Daniel Day-Lewis, Production Design)

A detailed, dialogue-driven portrait of political courage and leadership.

________________________________________

8. Walk the Line (2005)

Subject: Johnny Cash

Oscar Wins: 1 (Best Actress – Reese Witherspoon)

A heartfelt music biopic exploring love, addiction, and redemption.

________________________________________

9. Capote (2005)

Subject: Truman Capote

Oscar Wins: 1 (Best Actor – Philip Seymour Hoffman)

A gripping character study of a writer consumed by his masterpiece.

________________________________________

10. The Theory of Everything (2014)

Subject: Stephen Hawking

Oscar Wins: 1 (Best Actor – Eddie Redmayne)

Captures Hawking’s brilliance and human resilience with emotional depth.

[iii] Oscar-Nominated but Overlooked Biopics

1. Malcolm X (1992)

2. The Elephant Man (1980)

3. The Social Network (2010)

4. Selma (2014)

5. Chaplin (1992)

6. Frida (2002)

7. Ali (2001)

8. Steve Jobs (2015)

9. Jackie (2016)

10. Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018)

[iv] Top 10 Biographies & Autobiographies of All Time

1.        The Life of Samuel Johnson by James Boswell (1791)

2.        The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank (1947)

3.        Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela (1994)

4.        The Story of My Experiments with Truth by Mahatma Gandhi (1927)

5.        The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris (1979)

6.        Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow (2004)

7.        Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson (2011)

8.        Einstein: His Life and Universe by Walter Isaacson (2007)

9.        Churchill: A Life by Martin Gilbert (1991)

10.      Frida: A Biography of Frida Kahlo by Hayden Herrera (1983)